It is with some bits of hope and considerable apprehension that I begin 2009. Yesterday began with no heat for the 3rd day and warnings from the Govenor of another billion dollars in budget cuts. I read that and felt as thought I'd swallowed a lead sinker. We need some good news danm it - just a little. Emanuell says he doesn't read the news and camels reportedly stick their heads in the sand. (I would be interested to actually see this). All of this leads me to state of heightened anxiety. I'm afraid of losing my job - not being able to find another one. Do I dare start planning a vacation? Deep sigh . . . The hope is marginal. Throughout the day M. was more depressed than she has ever been (she always says that) yessterday she was 'double depressed.' Where is God in any of this? Why do I associate God with sense of comfort or well being - Joseph Campbell pointed out "God is Horrendous" yes indeed.
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